Questions. I was a questioner at school. There’s always one, isn’t there? That child at the back who refuses to believe anything is how it is and just keeps putting his hand up, infuriating the other children and driving the teacher round the bend. But here’s the thing, I want to know why Africa broke aways from wherever it broke away from—Geography was a bad lesson for questioning—and I want to know why Canadian Grizzly Bears are dense and furry, rather than just putting on coats when they feel a bit cold (if you’re intelligent enough to scale a massive tree and bring down prey, you’re probably more intelligent than some people, is my reckoning). Enigin are a company full of individuals who almost certainly drive their teachers round the twist by asking numerous questions that everyone else didn’t even consider. They have a most excellent FAQ page set-up, and that should answer all your questions.

Among them, as you will find out by clicking the above link—this is for the benefit of the small number of people who don’t click the link: yes, you know it, there are always a few—are why bother consulting Enigin for many things, how they can help the consumer, how their products work and why the business they are in affects us all. Valuable stuff. Go and check it out. Even if you don’t intend on getting involved in the Enigin business thing, it doesn’t matter. It’ll be worth it for all the new stuff you’ll learn.

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But, sadly—and even though this is Canada yes, there is a but—the series has come under fire from the fans. What for you ask? The ending.

And maybe these fans have a point. After all, it is about what the fans think, is it not? No matter how much you love a show, if the ending doesn’t cut it then you can’t help but feel slightly cheated: even the X Files, a show which managed a fairly worthy ending, could have been improved.

But that’s the thing about being a fan, isn’t it? You’d only be truly happy if the director invited you on set and asked your humble opinions. Can endings ever be right and good?

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We’re all so busy making money, worrying about who’s making more money, or getting a better job, sometimes we forget that all it takes is a simple thing to make us feel that much better. Something unexpected.

The other day I helped an old lady across the street. I had the common cold—a variation somewhat harsher, universally known as Man-Flu—so the lady was actually helping me across the street as much as I was helping her, but that’s not really my point: we were making each other happy. She told me an old war story as we walked, and when we got to the other side of the street I listened with intense fascination.

Hers was a story unlike any other I have ever heard and expect to hear since. Back in the day, Beatrice had plenty of time on her hands—she had been stinking rich, so didn’t have to work—and had taken it upon herself to visit the wives of those men who had been killed in the war. She was a professional Happiness Inducer, bouncing from door to door like a modern day angel.

Beatrice said this was the thing that turned her life around and I could see why. She had many tricks, she said; she’d tell them a joke, give them something to laugh about, or dance for them (and she could still dance, she promised me). Every day Beatrice woke with a spring in her step, knowing that her day would make the world a slightly better place. Beatrice had many techniques to ‘happyfy’ people; sometimes she’d ask the women if they liked a certain record, then go and buy it and memorize the lyrics and next time sing them a great tune. Beatrice was an inspiration.

When I said goodbye to her, she looked me in the eye and told me to be happy. I said, “I’ll try.” Beatrice said, “I’ll do better than that,” and she gave me twenty pounds!

I need some collaboration on this one, I was talking to my very good friend the other day and she asked me to visit this site on Smartlipo. I think she is actually thinking about getting this done. How do I undertake the subject of saying that she shouldn’t be compelled to do this and she should try a natural alternative of getting rid of the weight first

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The mere mention of this very bizarre TV show sends a shiver down my spine: Eureka, a secret town populated wholly—yes, I did indeed say wholly—by geniuses. It seems I’m not the only one to feel like this.

Yes, the concept behind Eureka is truly too terrifying to think about for most mere mortals. (Unless you’re not a mere mortal and extremely clever, of course, or a friend of Stephen Hawking or Stephen Fry, in which case you’ll probably have every single episode on tape and be longing for the day when this place—kind of like a clever version of new town Milton Keynes in England, I suppose—becomes a glorious reality.)

Just thinking about all this brings me right back to that disturbing day, many years ago, when I accidentally ended up in the top mathematics class attempting sums far above my capability. There were seventeen near geniuses in there and even that left me with nightmares for a long time after–

So, really, you do have to wonder how this show ever got commissioned, don’t you? Considering that many people have an average I.Q. and being a genius isn’t exactly top of the list of virtues when it comes to A list—or any other letter you might choose for that matter—celebrities. Four or five geniuses seems acceptable for a television show, maybe even seven or eight would be bearable; but a town—which must contain between 10,000 and 100,000 people by definition; something larger than a village but smaller than a city, according to the geniuses at Wikipedia—just wouldn’t.

What next? A town populated only by people of a less than average I.Q.? No, hang on, wait a minute, I’m sure that’s already happened, hasn’t it?

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We turn on the news and get depressed - the economy may or may not be out of recession, MPs have been claiming for this, that and I daresay “the other”, Dave and Gordon have been having a row in parliament, though neither has actually told us anything we don’t already know, taxes will be going up to pay for the banker’s bonuses, there’s been crowd trouble at a football match.

In the last two weeks though the news has been dominated but a real true disaster - the earthquake in Haiti. Up to two hundred thousand dead and I don’t know how many injured. The people are poor and by that I mean really poor! The hospitals can’t cope with the demand, there is nowhere for millions to live.

I am a full believer in charity beginning at home but when it comes to something like this we all have to question our beliefs. The wealthy nations have responded, governments have sent aid in all forms and the populace of those wealthy countries have put their hands in their pockets. However could we have done more?

The answer has to b “yes” but unfortunately it’s a “yes if…” and the “if” is this:-

IF - we hadn’t spent God knows how many millions on the multiple inquiries on whether the UK should have gone to war in Iraq.

IF - we hadn’t spent billions on bailing out the banks.

IF - we hadn’t spent probably hundreds of thousands on setting up a new expense system for our MPs.

IF, IF, IF….

OK, so all those things are now done, we can’t change it. Similarly we can’t change the geological make up of our planet but what we can do is be more prepared. Our political leaders need to wake up to the fact that basically people care about other people. They need to make sure that the bankers, or any other industry for that matter, can never destroy world economies as they have - Barak is right, no bank should ever become so big that it is not indispensable - if they fail they fail and the bankers are unemployed, not the rest of us.

How I wish that we had the money available to cover any natural disaster and to help the people prepare for these happenings. So that should be our aim. Once the economies are fixed, instead of frittering our wealth away we shuld be,and I hate to use the term, banking it for an earthquake, tsunami, flood, drought day.

I have just updated the text on the page for kerosene suppliers, I know that it might surprise you that I am working on some things for an oil company; but I don’t think they are as enviromentally irresponsible as I once concluded. Plus, I’ve sold out the rent is due and I need the cash!

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The last one we got is actually still working… However, the problem is that it is crap. It’s so heavy that it would be easier to push a fully-loaded cement mixer around the house and, as a bonus feature, it frequently falls over and cracks you round the back of the head when you are using the hose attachment…

Well, the other week I spotted something in the daily paper. It was a vacuum cleaner that only weighs 4 lbs. After spending a couple of months doing the hoovering with our resident cement mixer I found this idea to be very appealing; I rang-up straight away and ordered it.

It arrived earlier today and I can’t believe how tiny it is! But it actually works really well. It may only be very basic, but it is so damn easy to use! It is incredibly lightweight and it doesn’t attack you whilst you are going about your domestic chores. Even if it only lasts for six months or so then it will still have been worth getting. At £30 it was incredibly cheap compared to all the others on the market.

So, how long will it actually last? If it’s six months or more then it gets my vote. I’ll keep you informed; watch this space!

Nic’s surprise party: I think I know what we should put together. We should sort out some time at chalet val thorens as a surprise. You guys all know how much he loves that place, he never shuts up about it!

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When I was a kid my mum and dad bought me an Atari 2600 games console for Christmas. At the time it was the most exciting present I’d ever had. There were only a couple of my friends who were lucky enough to have one and I felt like one of the privileged few!

You always used to get a free game with the Atari called ‘Combat’. This was a one or two player battle with tanks and bi-planes. The trouble was that, even back then, it was crap. Luckily, my parents also got me ‘Space Invaders’ as another present.

I was made up!

My Atari games collection steadily grew over the years. What began as two games (one if you didn’t class ‘Combat’ as a game) became a much larger collection. The games were very expensive when the Atari was first released but, as they came down in price, my collection got bigger…

I had a selection of just about every ‘classic’ you care to mention, including; ‘Phoenix’, ‘Gorf’, ‘Pac Man’, ‘Missile Command’, ‘Defender’, ‘Asteroids’, ‘Dig Dug’ and ‘Donkey Kong’. Believe me, when you had grown up with all of these titles being ‘state of the art’ arcade games it was magical to have them all at home.

When I got to my early thirties I still had my old Atari. It had spent a good few years gathering dust in the attic and I decided it was time to say goodbye… I dragged it all downstairs, cleaned it, tested it and listed it on eBay. There were over seventy games, two sets of joysticks and paddles and God knows what else. I thought I should get a good price for it all. After all, it was retro!

The day arrived when the listing came to a close and I got… twenty quid. I was gutted. All the hours of joy and entertainment it had given me!

I was strong and when I took it to the Post Office I did not cry; but it taught me a very big lesson…

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No I’m not I just though I would add a little mystery to my blog. It’s not just a silly person writing rubbish it’s the new Nostradamus that all you guys where too dumb to catch!!

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