MaaBre

Pleased With Myself

I am a girl of the slightly dumpy, hour-glass figure, glasses wearing variety (who has been considering a neck lift for a while, but is unsure if it’s worth it). To look at me you would think there is nothing unusual about me (or maybe you would think there is something unusual about me–simply because I look too normal to be normal–) but I’ve got a secret I can tell you, and it is this: I love great white sharks. I sponsored my first great white when I was eleven (Eddie from South Africa, a particularly ferocious beast well known and disliked in the area for his rapid attacks on surfers) and have even been down in a cage to meet my vicious friends in person.

Now, it never ceases to amaze me how ignorant people are of great white’s. Most think they swim with their fins out of the water (they don’t: if you wanted to sneak up on a seal would you?) and many think they attack people for fun. But they don’t do that either! The other thing people don’t know is how they mate. Yesterday I overheard two slightly drunken grown men arguing about how great white’s mate and I had to step in and set them straight: “Nobody has ever seen two great white’s mate,” I said, confident. All that watching The Discovery Channel had finally paid off after all…

“Really?” said the guy on the left, astounded that a meek looking girl should be such an expert.

Then I said “Yes,” and walked away, pleased with myself and thinking about what to have for dinner.