Bugged
Something has been bugging me. A lot. Here it is: it’s that saying “I’ll have a stab in the dark”. I hate it. Why I hate it is simple. It means nothing. I mean, I know what it’s supposed to mean, as in, I have no chance at all, but I may as well have a go, but it doesn’t make any sense! Honestly, would you feel safe stuck in the dark with someone stabbing about with a knife? Exactly. I will soon prove my point.
I can’t begin to imagine who came up with this daft saying, but I can only assume that the person was stuck in the dark with a) someone who had an extremely blunt knife b) someone and they were both in an absolutely massive room where no amount of stabbing came to anything. There simply isn’t any other logical solution. Which begs the question, why would someone be stabbing about with a blunt knife? Surely if you wanted to do the job properly then you’d at least go to the trouble of getting a sharp knife first. Or maybe I’m just over-thinking this–
Anyway, my point is as follows: my friend and I, after an argument about whether the saying was ridiculous or genius, decided to test the theory out. This consisted of a bet of five pounds—I said it was ridiculous—and me donning lots of protective gear. My friend had the knife. Then we turned the lights off and lurked about. I’m telling you, even with all the safety gear (helmet, goggles, pads, etc) on I was terrified of getting stabbed. And as it turned out the expression was ridiculous: I felt a harsh blow on my helmet and that was that, enough proof for me that this saying holds about as much water as a big beach bag, now how is that for a new catchphrase?